Relationships are not always rainbows and butterflies. Along the way, there will be countless times where you feel that you and your partner are drifting apart. Finding ways to reconnect with your partner gets harder and challenging each time.
As unromantic as it sounds, relationships go stale. Your attraction to your partner fades. The once exciting and passionate relationship you have is slowly losing its spark. You can heavily feel that there is unexplained deadness or coldness between you two.
Why do couples drift apart?
Relationship, regardless of how long it is, requires maintenance and continuous care. It stops fostering and growing because you already know each other so well. What is left now is that feeling of sheer familiarity.
Researchers estimate that 30 to 60% of married couples resort to extramarital affairs because their affection for their partner is fading. It is hard to reconnect with your partner when neither one of you can admit that there is a problem.
Communication plays a vital role in any relationship. The lack of it causes misunderstanding and disagreements. When these conflicts get worse, you will get tired, easily annoyed and slowly get uninterested with your partner.
Couples who are sexually inactive know that there is something wrong in the relationship. Sex and intimacy are tangible proofs of love, care and affection. When these are out of the picture, you start to look for it somewhere else.
Not Enough Quality Time
Every relationship needs time and effort to grow. But when you do not spend enough quality time with your partner, your relationship will surely fail. As time goes by, you become unwilling and skeptical to go on dates, share activities and hobbies.
Loss of Physical Attraction
This sounds superficial and shallow but some people lose interest in their partners because they become less attractive. If you become too comfortable in a relationship, it is easy to neglect your looks. You drink more, eat more and exercise less thinking that these will not matter to your partner.
How to reconnect with your partner?
In any relationship, there will always be bumps but this does not mean that you give up. When you start noticing and feeling the coldness in your relationship, you must do these steps to reconnect with your partner.
Address and discuss the problem.
Admit that there is a problem. Take time off and sit with your partner. Talk about your feelings now for each other and your disappointments. You need to be honest, patient, understanding and brave in order to reconnect with your partner.
Have a weekly or monthly activity.
If both of you are willing to commit to keep the fire burning in your relationship, make sure to spend time together. Go on dates once a week or twice a month. It does not have to be fancy and expensive as long as you have an alone time together.
Establish a no-phone zone.
Couples spend more time on their phones than with their partners. Create a no-phone zone at home where no one should be holding or looking at their phones when they are in the designated spaces and time. This could be during meal time or during dates.
Say sorry more often.
Pride is a distraction in marriage but if you want to reconnect with your partner learn when to apologize. Saying sorry does not mean that you are wrong. It plainly shows that your relationship is more important than your pride.
Take care of yourself.
Be more mindful of your health and wellness. Do not neglect your physical and mental health. Think that looking and feeling good is not just for your partner but also for yourself.
Try doing things together.
Aside from going on dates, find a new hobby or an activity that you can do together. You can learn how to cook, go for a run in the morning or do yoga. Make sure that it is an activity that both of you will enjoy.
Be more forgiving and kind.
No one is perfect. You need to accept that there will be numerous instances that you and your partner will commit mistakes. In order for your relationship to last longer, you need to forgive and be kind to your partner.
Listen more to your partner.
There are times that you hear what your partner is saying but you are really not listening intently to what they mean. Be more attentive to them. Pay attention to their every word and do not easily dismiss when they are opening up something important to you.
Reminisce why you fall in love.
Walk down memory lane and remember why you fell in love. Look at them and remind yourself that they are the ones that make your heart flutters. Your story may not be as romantic or quirky as others but it is yours to keep and cherish.
Attend couples therapy.
One of the most effective ways to reconnect with your partner is to attend couples therapy together. An intervention of a therapist near me will help you find out and address the root cause of your problems. If your relationship matters, both of you should work hard to bring back the spark.
Where to attend therapy?
It is hard to admit that your relationship is on the rocks. There will be times that you are too proud to ask for help especially from people you do not know. A therapist near me can greatly help you in mending conflicts and figuring out how to resolve any misunderstandings and misconceptions.
Residents in Riverside, California, Corona, California and Los Angeles, California can visit Mindshift Psychological Services for therapy near me and counseling sessions. Their counselor or therapist near me makes it a point to teach you strategies that will improve your communication skills, sex drive and more.
Visit their website to learn more about Psychotherapy for Couples or contact them at (714)584-9700.