Domestic Violence against Men
Stories and news about domestic violence against men are quite rare in mainstream media. Up to this day, several people dismiss the fact that men or husbands can be violated and abused by their partners or strangers. They are used to the notion that only children and women can be victims of violence and aggression.
Based on the survey data done by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “approximately 1 in 10 men in the U.S. experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime”.
Domestic Violence on Men Happens
Men are always seen as predators by society. They are the ones that hurt people. Men are stronger so it makes no sense how they can be the prey of abuse and violence. But they can be victims of domestic violence too. They experience what it is to be physically assaulted, to be emotionally and verbally abused.
You choose to stay in an abusive relationship.
People wonder why victims of violence do not leave their partners. Leaving an abusive relationship is the most logical thing to do but some men still hope that someday things will get better. They love their partners so much that giving up on their relationship will never be an option. But not all feel the same. There are other reasons why they suffer in silence about domestic violence.
You feel ashamed.
Men are always viewed as dominant and assertive. It is not easy for them to admit that they have been victims of domestic violence. They feel emasculated and ashamed that they can be easily looked down, bullied and assaulted by their partners.
You have low self-esteem.
There are instances when you feel worthless and unreliable. With your low self-worth and confidence, you believe that you deserve to be abused and hurt. You constantly tell yourself that being in an abusive relationship is your only lifeline.
You are not to be blamed.
Unlike women, men find it difficult to convince people that they are victims of domestic violence. Society has this standard that men are perpetrators of crime and abuse. They will never be victims. With this kind of thinking, men anticipate that they will only be subjected to mockery and judgment once they report their unpleasant and traumatic experiences.
It is not your fault when your partner violates and abuses you. You should not stop yourself from speaking about the truth. You deserve a loving and healthy relationship. Whatever your shortcomings are, they should not be reasons for someone to hurt you.
You can stop domestic violence.
It is never easy on your part to open up about the abuse and violence that you encounter. People look at you, gauge you and show their doubts. Some people have this common misconception that muscular or big men cannot be physically, emotionally and mentally abused. They are strong enough to defend themselves.
This is the main reason why many men refuse to speak up about their assaults and abuse. They are not only ashamed but they feel helpless because not many of them know that there are laws protecting them.
The moment you speak up and tell your story, you are inspiring others to do the same. You help yourself and you help others as well. It may be a long shot but your story can be a step closer to saving someone from domestic violence. It will serve as a reminder and a lesson to perpetrators and abusers that they can be punished and held accountable for their actions.
You can ask for help.
You are not alone. Some people understand, accept and help with your situation. You need to find your voice and firmly believe that you will be okay. Even if you are physically stronger than your partner, you must know that things can escalate into a more serious problem. You must get out of the situation right away and ask for help.
Domestic violence in men is a hard subject to tackle and many are struggling with depression and anxiety because of their experiences. If you have been a victim of violence and abuse and still have that lingering feeling of fear and vulnerability, you have to go to a therapist.
Mindshift Psychological Services offers therapy and counseling sessions for victims of domestic violence and abuse. You think that your bad experience with your partner will scar you for life but there is still a chance that you will learn how to manage your trauma.