There is always this haunting question every parent dreads to hear, “Is it possible to get over the death of a child?” No words and amount of sympathy can compensate for the feeling of loss and emptiness in grieving the death of your child. For most, it is synonymous to the end of the world.
In 2018, premature deaths among youth aged 18 years old and below reaches to 19,660. Though they have seen a decline in the number, it is still considered a major concern and should not take the backseat.
What are the leading causes of deaths among children?
Grieving the death of your child gives you enormous pain, confusion and anger. Questions that will never be answered and regrets that will never be forgotten keep you awake at night. It is a reality that you never want to face and deal with.
1. Motor Vehicle Accidents
Based on many reports, this is the number one leading cause of death among children and young adolescents which comprises 20% of all deaths. Motor vehicle accidents commonly happen between ages 10 to 19 years old. Their deaths are associated with parental and peer influences, risk- taking behavior, alcohol and substance abuse.
2. Firearm- related Incidents
According to data, 59% of firearm deaths are because of homicides, 35% suicides and 4% are caused by unintentional injuries. 26% of these unintentional firearm deaths happen to children and young adults.
3. Malignant Neoplasm
Grieving the death of your child becomes more unbearable when you only cling to a thread of hope. Premature deaths caused by cancerous tumors are still prevalent these days in spite of the advancement of medical technologies. Parents are willing to try new technology, medications and therapies in the hope that their children will be well.
Most common suffocation deaths include suffocation due to bed linens, due to plastic bags, hanging or strangulation. 7% of premature deaths are caused by suffocation. Parents of newborn babies are warned about this and are encouraged to lessen blankets and other linens near babies.
How does a child’s death affect the parents?
Losing a child can cause trauma and stress to parents. The child’s death can significantly affect your behavior, attitude and way of thinking. It becomes a factor that will push you to neglect yourself, your family, your work and other important things.
1. Poorer health.
Grieving the death of your child becomes your only focus in life. You slowly retreat to isolation and forget to take care of yourself. Eating and sleeping well are your last concerns because you are just too sad and empty to do anything. Others feel guilty if they feel slightly better so they never stop grieving. You start to feel stomach pains, headaches and bowel problems.
The death of a child has long-term effects on both parents. Each parent grieves in different ways and unconsciously develops negative feelings about the situation. Instead of supporting each other, some married couples tend to play the blame game while others choose to shut the whole world down, including their spouse.
3. Psychological Trauma
Losing a child is a traumatic experience that is never easy to comprehend. The sudden surge of emotions will make anyone lose their minds and purpose in life. It is an experience that you know will change your perception about life. You start to withdraw from anything pleasant and happy. You feel guilty for not doing your best. You only want to be alone, mourn and be sad.
4. Losing Jobs
Many parents attest that the main motivating factor of working harder is their children. Losing their child means that there is no point in slaving themselves to work. Instead of working, some parents set their careers on the sideline and focus more on grieving the death of their child.
Where to ask for help?
Every parent must know, though it may seem far-fetched for now, that it is possible to recover and move on from the death of their child. Grieving the death of your child is a life-long process of healing but it does not mean that it should be your only focus.
It is always a good idea to talk to someone that will help you put together the pieces of the puzzle. Death will always be one aspect in life that is mysterious and enigmatic. Opening up to someone about your true and raw emotions lifts up your spirit and widens your thinking.
Mindshift Psychological Services provides a place for all parents who are mourning their loss. The death of a child is a traumatic event that needs to be dealt with properly. They offer Trauma therapy near me for grieving parents who only want answers to this boggling experience.
They also offer Depression therapy near me for those who are struggling with the feeling of extreme loneliness and sadness for a long, long time. All their therapy near me and counseling sessions prove to be a helpful step to recovery. You may visit their website or contact them at (714) 584-9700 to schedule an appointment.
There is no right way in grieving the death of your child but there is a proper way to deal with it to free yourself from all negative feelings.