Raising a child is tough. No matter how ready you think you are, there will be times when conflicts arise between you and your kids. It is not uncommon and surprising to hear stories about parent-child relationship problems because they happen and are just inevitable.
As parents, you only want the best for your child. However, with their young minds they misconceive your love and protection as selfishness and heartless. Whether it is about curfew, grades or relationships, they will always look at you as a bad guy.
What are the most common parent-child relationship problems?
There will always be issues that create rift between parents and children that cannot be avoided. Studies show that there is a direct impact on socioemotional development of children if problems continue to aggravate them and remain unresolved.
1. Social Media Addiction
Many parents dread the obsession of their children with different social media platforms. It consumes most of their time leaving no opportunities for sports, chores and studies. 77% of parents admit that their children are hooked to their devices and plainly ignore them when they are together.
2. Eating Habits
Children and teenagers are picky eaters. Good for parents with children who basically eat anything prepared for them. However, there are parents who find it annoying and tiring when their children refuse to eat any food. Just to make sure that they are eating, parents beg, bribe or worse, threaten them.
Parents want to see their children succeed and this means going an extra mile to ensure that they have a good education. On the contrary, some children feel that getting good grades is not everything. This starts the conflict because children feel pressured and stressed to meet their parents’ expectations.
4. Anger and Aggression
There are children who cannot handle intense emotions like anger and parents misinterpret it as bad behavior. Instead of finding ways to manage their anger, parents feel that they need to ignore or forcibly stop their aggressive behavior because it will reflect badly on them.
Same with any relationship, communication is a vital aspect. Parent-child relationship problems occur when conversation stops. Children feel that their parents do not listen to them and cannot understand what they are going through. They insist that they are invading their privacy if their parents ask too much about their lives.
Teenagers particularly are in their phase where they are curious about many things. Parents are scared that they will be surrounded with bad friends who will influence them to experiment with drugs or alcohol or be more risky in making decisions.
Lying is always, always discouraged by parents. Children lie because they want to get what they want or they are afraid to face their parents’ anger or disappointment. When parents realize that their children lie, they do their best to totally eliminate this before it becomes a habit. Unfortunately for many parents, lying comes so naturally for some children.
8. Sibling Rivalry
As parents, you want to be fair to all your children. You want them to grow up close and affectionate to each other. This is not always the case. When one child feels that you favor his/ her siblings, this is where problems happen. If this becomes difficult to deal with, talk to a therapist near me to teach you the right approach.
9. Insisting Independence
When your children reach a certain age where they can go to school on their own or they are allowed to hang-out with their friends in the mall, they think that they can already do anything. They want you to back off when they want to go out or make decisions about their future.
10. Boundary Conflicts
Along with their strong insistence of being independent, they also want you to respect the boundary they set. They do not want you invading their privacy or even asking about their boyfriend or girlfriend. They hate curfews thinking that you do not want them to enjoy and have their own life. It creates tension because they see your actions as pure manipulation.
How to deal with parent-child relationship problems?
Dealing with parent-children relationship problems is difficult. You want to commit no mistakes in raising your children but it is just impossible. However, just like any problems you too can find ways to have a good relationship with your children.
1. Listen to them.
Sometimes your children feel that you do not listen. Your rules cannot be questioned and bent. As parents, you need to learn to listen to their explanation, to their reasoning because that is what they need.
2. Trust them.
You raise your children to be good people so trust them to show their kindness and wisdom to the world. It is hard for any parents to give trust but you need to believe in them. If they commit a mistake, be there for them not to judge them but to help them get up.
3. Make time for them.
Prioritize your children even if you feel that they can go on without you. Go to their school activities. Set a family day. Have a common interest that you can do together. It is all about making good memories with them because in a blink of an eye, they will grow up and have families on their own.
4. Support them.
Just because they want to have their belly button pierced, they are already rebelling. Let them express themselves. Make your home their safe place where they can be whoever they want to be. Support their decisions in life as long as it is not hurting anybody and will not ruin themselves.
5. Be more sensitive.
Some young children and teenagers experience bullying and other traumas in school or even at home. Observe your children’s behavior and if you sense something is wrong, talk to them directly. You must know what causes their indifference and withdrawal. Be more mindful and careful in talking to them because you want them to open up and not to push them away farther.
What to do if parent-child relationship problems are not resolved?
1. Ask help from other parents.
If conflicts between you and your children continue to taint your family, ask advice from other parents. There may be parents who are in the same boat as you. It will do you good if you hear what other parents’ solutions are and it is a big help in sorting out your own problem.
2. Seek a family therapist.
A help from a therapist near me will help bridge the gap between you and your child. This is also a good way for them to talk to someone about their problems in life and the reasons for not feeling comfortable with you.
Mindshift Psychological Services offer Family Therapy for parents and children who want to resolve their conflicts and issues but do not know where to start. Speaking to a therapist near me will help in identifying core problems within each family member. Your child is angry all the time because he/she is being bullied or depressed.
Your family is a priceless treasure so make sure that you are keeping them healthy and happy. Visit our website to read all about our services. You can also contact us now at (714)584-9700.