Do you ever feel like you are going to explode with rage? Do you say things you regret later out of anger? Maybe you reacted too quickly in the heat of the moment, and now you regret it? Does your blood pressure skyrocket when someone cuts you off in traffic? Or do you feel like breaking things when you get mad? The target of your wrath might be a stranger, a loved one, or even yourself.
Yes, we know you don’t need anger management; people just need to stop making you angry! Learning to manage anger can be a challenge for everyone at times, but it’s essential to deal with it positively.
So, What Exactly Is Anger?
Anger is a totally normal human emotion as it’s your body’s natural response to threats, injustice, and disappointments. However, it can lead to complicated situations when it gets unmanageable and turns destructive, affecting the overall quality of your life. An adrenaline rush, tense muscles, a sudden rise in your blood pressure, heartbeat, rapid breathing, sweating, trembling, clenched fists, and jaws are your body’s physical responses to anger. It is not bad to feel angry. It is only bad when it becomes uncontrollable and leads to other reactions that can be detrimental to your relationships and life. Different factors trigger different emotions within us.
- Do you feel like you are generally an impatient person?
- Do you feel like your voice is not being heard? Does that make you angry?
- Does injustice trigger anger for you?
- Do you keep remembering traumatic events?
- Are your personal problems making you more frustrated than usual?
How Can I Handle My Anger?
The goal of anger management is to manage both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that happens because of anger. You cannot get rid of the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change their nature, but you can learn to manage your reactions. There are various ways to deal with this.
- Expression: Try to express your anger rationally by discussing why you feel angry – either with someone who made you upset or someone who is not directly involved. Avoid having outbursts. Going for a short run or walk also helps. The adrenaline gets burnt through such exercises. It may help you feel better, almost instantly.
- Suppression: This means suppressing your anger and channeling it in other ways. However, this may be problematic because you may turn passive-aggressive, which feeds resentment. Most of the time, others are unable to realize you are mad at them due to this, which can make you feel more angry. It can build unnecessary walls between you and your loved ones, for reasons they may not be aware of. Do you bottle up your emotions and feel like a boiling teapot? Direct communication is the solution. Suppression is not ideal, as it can build up and make you feel worse.
- Be aware of your anger and let it subside: This is when you wait for your anger to diffuse before you say or react to anything irrationally. Counting down from 10 or 20 may also help redirect your focus from your anger to those numbers. Learn your anger, where you feel it in the body. Identify the cause of anger, is it from pain, fear or frustration? Have this inner dialogue with yourself.
What Is Anger Management?
Anger management comprises of positively handling your anger. You may be thinking, anger and positivity do not really go hand in hand, so how is this possible? Here is how.
You need to be aware of what makes you feel angry, what exactly is triggering you and how you react in such situations. You can figure out how to handle it constructively and positively by remaining calm and composed. Express how you feel during the initial stage of your anger before it blows up. Suppressing it is not ideal, as it may appear later on, worse than ever, when you least expect it, after accumulating and building up over a period of time.
Anger management is a skill. It takes commitment, effort, and time to develop the patience to control such feelings. It takes dedication to be able to recognize the patterns of triggers and consequent behaviors. Just give yourself the time and freedom you deserve to acknowledge this and to become more self-aware. Just know that you are not alone. You got this!
How To Manage Your Anger Without Therapy?
Some people were put on this planet to test your anger management skills; still, you can’t physically lash out at every person that annoys or irritates you; social norms, laws, and common sense place limits on how far your anger can take you. However, there are some techniques that you can use to keep your anger at bay.
- Breathing exercises to exhale the anger out.
- Tension release exercises to make different muscles in your body tense, and then release them.
- Mindfulness and meditation can shift your mind from anger to a state of bliss, with consistent practice.
- Find a channel for your anger like exercising, running, or practicing martial arts. Alternatively, you can tear up paper, get something soft to hold onto when clenching your fist out of frustration, or scream into your pillow, to name but a few.
- Distancing yourself from the trigger by drawing, sketching, singing, or even listening to music. Music can be therapeutic and can make you feel better instantly. Positive sounds can lower your vibrations.
- Get at least six to eight hours of sleep every day to reduce irritability and short temper. Sleep deprivation is known to contribute to this.
Practice these techniques daily. Try to shift your focus from what is engendering you to become this angry and resolve this situation. Focus on the solution, not the problem.
What Is the Best Therapy for Anger Management?
Anger is not only harmful to you, but it can jeopardize your relationships with others as well. Different types of therapies can help you figure out the root cause of your anger and how to combat it effectively. MindShift Psychological Services focuses on a long-term approach to improve how you deal with your emotions.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for anger management can help you redirect your thought and behavioral patterns. It enables you to ascertain negative thoughts and change them. It also makes you aware of how you react to such situations. For instance, the situation may trigger anger for you, and you may not be able to control it. As a result, you may be prone to experiencing an violent outburst. Cognitive behavioral therapy can help you respond to such circumstances more effectively and positively. It is a hands-on approach to psychotherapy, which involves talking it out with your therapist.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for anger management can help with:
- Learning your anger and forming a healthy relationship with it.
- Chronic pain caused by anger
- Stressful life situations contributing to angry feelings,
- Emotional trauma triggering anger
- Establish goals for you, to guide you through dealing with anger, step-by-step
- Help you understand other people’s perceptions and motivations – misunderstanding those may be triggering anger for you
- Identify ways to manage anger
- Managing your anger holistically
If you have a short temper, you may feel like there’s nothing much you can do to tame the beast. But you have more power over your anger than you think. With insight into the real reasons for your anger and anger management counseling, you can easily keep your temper from hijacking your life. Anger can be caused by various factors, like shame, guilt, frustration, regret, pain, insecurity, anxiety, depression, grief, loneliness, low self-esteem and trauma. Anger Management Counselling can help in numerous ways:
- It can help you understand the source of your anger
- The therapist can help you develop ways to deal with this anger
- It can teach you how to express your anger without negatively impacting others
- You also learn that you are in charge of your anger, your anger can not control you, your actions and your behaviors
Mastering the art of anger management takes effort and time, but the more you practice, the easier it will get. And the payoff is tremendous. Learning to manage your anger and expressing it appropriately will help you achieve your goals, build better relationships, and lead a healthier, more satisfying life.
Do you need anger management counseling?
If you believe that your anger is really out of control or harming your relationships and negatively affecting important parts of your life, you might consider counseling to handle it better. A Psychotherapist or other licensed counselor at MindShift Psychological Services can work with you to develop a range of techniques for changing your thinking and behavior. To take advantage of this opportunity, contact MindShift Psychological Services to schedule an appointment right away.