Anger is a natural human emotion, but when left unmanaged, it can damage relationships, affect physical health, and disrupt daily life. While many adults attempt to manage their anger on their own, without proper guidance, they often fall into ineffective patterns.
At MindShift Psychological Services, we frequently see individuals seeking help after their self-managed efforts have failed or worsened the issue. This blog explores the common mistakes people make when managing anger without online counseling and why seeking help can make all the difference.
1. Ignoring the Root Cause
A common mistake is focusing solely on controlling outbursts rather than understanding what triggers the anger in the first place. Many adults try to suppress their feelings, hoping that ignoring them will make them go away.
However, unresolved emotions can build up over time, eventually leading to explosive reactions. Without professional insight, it’s difficult to identify deep-seated issues or past trauma that may be fueling one’s anger.
2. Using Avoidance Instead of Resolution
People often confuse avoidance with self-control. They might walk away from a heated moment, hoping the issue resolves itself. While taking a pause can be helpful in the short term, consistently avoiding conflict can lead to resentment, miscommunication, and emotional detachment. Professionals guide individuals in resolving issues rather than escaping them.
3. Relying on Temporary Coping Mechanisms
Adults often turn to temporary fixes such as exercise, venting to a friend, or distraction techniques. While these may offer momentary relief, they don’t build long-term emotional regulation skills. Professional telehealth therapy, especially approaches like online cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) or eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), equips individuals with lasting tools to handle anger constructively.
4. Misjudging the Severity of the Problem
Another common pitfall is underestimating how anger impacts one’s life. It’s easy to normalize yelling, impatience, or passive aggression, especially when it has become a habitual way of expressing frustration. Without a neutral perspective, it’s hard to recognize the harm caused. A licensed therapist can help individuals view their behavior objectively and identify areas for change.
5. Believing It’s a Personal Failure
Many adults view their anger as a character flaw rather than an emotional signal that something deeper is happening. This belief often leads to shame, guilt, or silence. Without validation and expert input, they may isolate themselves or resist seeking help. Therapy not only provides strategies but also creates a safe space to explore emotions without judgment.
If you’ve been trying to manage anger on your own and feel stuck, you’re not alone. MindShift Psychological Services offers compassionate, evidence-based online counseling in California to help you understand and manage your emotions effectively.
Reach out today and talk to our licensed therapists in CA. Call us at (714) 584-9700.
