How to Deal with Mom Rage
Dealing with mom rage can be extremely difficult especially if you are juggling looking after your kids, household chores, or work. At the end of every day, you feel exhausted and the last thing you need is to listen to your teenagers bickering at each other or your toddlers fighting over legos.
Mom rage is considered an adult version of a child’s tantrum. It is not a psychological diagnosis but is a normal feeling when a mom is filled up with so much emotion all at once that she can barely contain them. “It can appear as irritability, restlessness, fatigue, anger, yelling, feelings of loss of control and aggression.”
According to Carli Blau, a psychotherapist near me certified in perinatal mental health from New York, mom rage is the “phenomenon in which moms experience intense anger that is unexplained, intense, and often very disruptive to their daily life”.
Most times, you do not understand why you would explode or shout even over petty things. You know that parenting is hard but once it already affects your mental welfare and your children’s, you may have to take a step back and find ways to calm yourself down.
Stop what you are doing and take a deep breath.
Showing your anger at your kids can lead you to feel guilty. It is not wrong to express what your real emotion is but your children may misunderstand it. They may think that you do not like or love them anymore. So whenever you feel that you are about to burst, stop what you are doing or the conversation and take deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. This is an easy method to calm yourself down.
Learn breathing exercises or techniques that you can do anywhere. You can also share this tip with your fellow moms because it is easy to do.
Take a break.
Whenever you feel like yelling or slapping your children, pause and assess the situation. If it is something that you do not want to handle yet, take a walk and ask your spouse to take over. This may sound rude but it is better to remove yourself from the situation than say or do things you will regret later. You need time and space to collect your thoughts. Your child may need it too.
Being a mom is a demanding job. Be kind to yourself if you fall short from time to time. Explain to your children why you need to walk away when you are angry. You do not want them to also do this to you when they are mad.
Know what triggers your anger.
No mother is perfect. Mom rage may not be experienced by every mother but you do not have to feel bad if this happens to you often. You have to keep in mind that there are mothers like you who need to work extra hard to give a comfortable life to your children. Instead of feeling guilty all the time, learn what triggers you rage. Is it when your kids are fighting over toys? Is it the mess your teenage daughter made? Is it because you are simply exhausted from work?
Once you know the triggering points of your mom rage, find ways to avoid them. Talk to your children about the things you disapprove of. Ask your partner to help you out when you get home tired from work.
Make time for friends.
When you become a mom, your spouse and children are your world. They are your priorities now. However, making time for yourself is not a criminal offense. You need a time-out from being a mom once in a while. Give yourself a break and see your friends. Go out with your colleagues for dinner.
Your “me time” does not make you a selfish mom. Many therapists near me emphasize its importance to mental wellness. It is considered a “therapeutic regrouping that will return you to your parenting station in peak condition.” Your children need a happy mom. They must see how well you look after yourself on top of motherhood.
Prioritize sleep and rest.
One of the reasons why mom rage happens is because you lack sleep. You have a newborn baby and sleeping for two hours is a luxury. You notice that ever since you became a mom, you had no time to rest. You are on the go all the time. You are expected to be around always. But you also get tired.
When you lack sleep, you get irritated and annoyed easily. You need sleep to keep your mind sharp and alert. As a mom with kids, you have to be physically and mentally healthy to look after them.
See a therapist.
Looking after your mental health is of utmost importance for mothers. With so many responsibilities, it is easy to get lost trying to be the best mother. Seeing a therapist near me can teach you how to handle the changes and expectations. You have nothing to be ashamed of if you choose to attend therapy or counseling sessions.
Seeing a therapist near me will help you determine the real reasons for your anger and frustrations. It is possible that your mom rage is not because of your children or work but because you have some unresolved personal issues.
Mindshift Psychological Services offers therapy and counseling sessions for mothers who are struggling in dealing with mom rage. Seeing our therapist near me will help you manage your anger in a healthier way. You may refer to our therapist directory to see our well-trained medical professionals. Contact us for more information.