- Jul 05, 2022
How to Find Love the Second Time Around
How to Find Love the Second Time Around
Entering the dating world again after a divorce or loss can be both frightening and unsettling. No one wants to relive the pain of losing love. However, finding love the second time around is a sign of hope and a chance to be happy once again.
An article in Elephant Journal suggests that a person falls in love three times in a lifetime. Each love comes in different stages in one’s life and for different reasons. According to the writer “the first one makes you realize your expectations, the second makes you understand and love yourself, and the third teaches you what love truly is”.
You may not notice all these three but as you look back you will then realize that everything you learn about love is brought upon by the people who have made an impact in your life.
Giving Second Chance to Love
They say that the heart is resilient. You are made to experience love and be happy because of it. Giving love a second chance can be quite challenging especially if you feel too old for it or you have grown children. Yet the moment you feel that you are ready to find love the second time around your whole perception will change.
Here are some ways to make sure that you will be in a better relationship the second time.
1. Learn more about yourself.
In every heartbreak, you learn something new about yourself. It makes you realize that you do not tolerate emotional abuse or you despise someone irresponsible and unreliable. You are now aware of the things you want and need in a partner.
Once you are given a second chance at love, you want it to be better and happier. From your past experiences in love, you now know what values are important to you and what goals you aspire to in the relationship.
2. Be smart and mature in choosing the person you will love.
When you try to love the second time around, you are more careful. You simply want that this relationship will work and last. In short, you are now smarter and more mature because you know what you want and do not want.
Now that you know exactly what you want in a relationship you will only entertain someone for all the right reasons. You expect them to be on the same page as you when it comes to important issues. Attraction is still relevant but this becomes meaningless when your values and beliefs are not at par.
3. Fall in love slowly.
When you first fall in love, you fall hard and fast. But when the second time comes, your feelings seem to develop slower. Your mind tends to be more cautious and somehow not easily persuaded by sweet words and empty promises.
Continue to protect your heart. No one wants to be hurt by love again. This time you are aware of what happens next or if your expectations are met. If your previous love was lost due to traumatic events, do not rush into falling in love thinking that this is the only way to move forward.
4. Be a better partner.
You want to have a good partner with whom you feel loved, appreciated and safe. Be this same person as well. From your previous relationship, you are aware of your flaws. Work on your shortcomings and be an ideal partner.
Love is a two-way street. You learn to compromise on certain things. It is not all the time that you get what you want. If you want your partner to show respect to you, be respectful and considerate to them as well.
5. Understand why your past relationship failed.
If you are willing to find love the second time around, learn from your past mistakes. It is normal to hope for a perfect someone but they do not exist. Whatever your problems are, learn from them. Bear in mind that people make mistakes and the only way to grow in a relationship is to know when to accept or tolerate them.
It is okay to commit mistakes but allow some room for your partner to learn from them and grow. It may be hard but in any relationship, you must know how to forgive. You may opt for counseling sessions offered by a legitimate therapist to make sure that you are ready to give love a second chance.
Mindshift Psychological Services provides couple or marriage counseling sessions for those who want to have a better and more meaningful relationship. This therapy session will prepare you to accept and feel love again. It will be an effective way for you to understand what second chances in love mean.
Visit our website to know more about our therapy and counseling sessions. You may call us at (714)584-9700 to schedule an appointment.