No couple wants to end their marriage. Every relationship grows because of love and commitment and seeing these fade, you instantly feel regret and pain.
Everybody wants to experience their happily-ever-after. A fairy tale wedding sounds possible but a fairy tale marriage demands a fusion of hard work and compromise. It is not always a walk in the park or a bird singing and a mouse dancing. It is up to the both of you to make every minute full of love and desire. Walking away from your marriage will open doors to more complicated matters like child custody, financial support, property division and more.
Why does marriage end?
Marriage ends because of several reasons. Whatever the reasons are, the common ground is both parties want the same thing – putting an end to their marriage.
1. Infidelity
Based on statistics 20% to 40% of divorces happen because of infidelity. It is difficult to admit that the reason for divorcing your spouse is because of a third party. Cheating in all forms in whatever circumstances is unacceptable and hurtful. There will never be a good reason to justify cheating. Temptation lingers even when married and it is here where you can measure the faithfulness and commitment of your spouse. But when your spouse fails to do this, it will surely deteriorate the trust and love for each other.
2. Marrying too young
Young love is often impulsive and reckless. Young people who are deeply in love believe in their hearts that their love for each other will last a lifetime. It is always “you and me against the world”. However, as time goes by, the love they thought will outlive them suddenly turns monotonous and tiring. As they grow together, they realize that they want different things. With unmet expectations and incompatibility, one of them or both choose to just end their union for them to hopefully find true happiness.
3. Lack of commitment
Lack of commitment does not often result in infidelity. Some spouses seem to be afraid of commitment that entails responsibility. Being married means being able to take responsibility over security and safety of your spouse and children. This means that you have to work hard for a comfortable living and being able to give the needs of your children. However, there are spouses that feel overwhelmed with all their responsibilities that they just want to be single again or ignore their duties.
4. Abuse
No spouse expects that the person they marry will have the guts to hurt them physically or verbally. It is hard to imagine that your spouse, whom you choose to spend the rest of your life with, becomes a different person – a person who is capable of damaging your life. Based on studies, 20 individuals are physically abused every minute by their partners. It is always better to get out of an abusive relationship right away before anything gets to worse. Though it is hard at first, it will be the best thing that you can do for yourself and your children.
5. Addictions
Addictions in any forms such as alcohol, drug, pornography or gambling create an unhealthy and unpleasant environment for your family. They lead to abuse and depression not just to you but also to your children. If you have done everything to help out your spouse and nothing has changed, it is just right to head for the exit in your marriage. This is not abandonment or breaking your “sickness and in health” vow but it is a way of keeping yourself safe.
The hardest part is telling yourself that it is all over and nothing can be done to salvage it. Attending therapy near me and counseling sessions become helpless. Asking guidance from a religious leader has done nothing. Opening up about it with family and friends is meaningless.
How to survive from a failed marriage?
There is no recipe on how to overcome the pain and hurt caused by a failed marriage. It will always be difficult to accept that you are no longer a better half. Though you may feel relieved and free from a toxic marriage, you cannot deny the fact that ending it has brought you mental health issues. You become irritable, angry, anxious and depressed.
You worry that being on your own again will inhibit you from succeeding in life. You are full of apprehensions about your future and your children. You feel sorry for your children for not giving them a normal, complete family. You are too occupied into thinking that your failed marriage will hinder you from becoming happy again.
Being in the lowest point of life paves way for your mind to think of negative thoughts. Instead of looking for ways on how to regain your confidence and strength, your mind is filled with doubts and fears. Life is full of surprising twists and turns and even if the situation is, choose to survive and move on.
If you find yourself stressed out and vulnerable in these trying times, do not hesitate in seeking help from a trusted therapist or psychologist.
Mindshift Psychological Services offers therapy near me and counseling sessions that will help you get through this challenging situation. Their services include Family Therapy near me, Depression Therapy and Psychotherapy for Individuals.
Their highly qualified and excellent therapists and psychologists will make sure that all your questions and confusions will be answered and clarified. They are there not to give immediate solutions to your problems but they will guide you in seeing your situation from a different perspective.
If you need guidance and help right away, schedule an appointment through their website or contact them at (714) 584-9700. Bear in mind that you are never alone, that you have people that are willing to listen and make sense of everything you are experiencing now.
