When you’re in a relationship, it can be quite challenging to stay pleasant and kind to your partner all the time. You can’t help but feel frustrated and angry when you’re arguing or fighting. But this is just a norm in all relationships. Naturally, no one likes it, but experts say it is one way for you to learn more about each other.
For many, anger is a negative emotion but a natural reaction, especially in relationships. When you’re angry at your partner, it doesn’t mean that you love them less. You simply lose your patience. But if this keeps happening, the best thing to do is to learn proper anger management.
How Anger Damage Relationships
Anger is such a powerful emotion that it can easily destroy even the strongest relationship. Anger should be handled and expressed in a healthy manner without resorting to maltreatment or violence.
The foundation of healthy and happy relationships is honest communication, mutual respect and support, and unconditional love. Once anger wins over all these aspects, it will break your relationship. Yes, it is natural to be angry occasionally, but always for a valid reason. There is no point when you snap at your partner all the time, even on small things. Because they will feel unsafe and unloved, perhaps this is when you seek help from an anger therapist to help you with anger management.
In addition, anger clouds your judgment and lose sight of the more important things. Instead of resolving the issue that makes you angry, you would attack or hurt your partner. When you always do this, your partner’s love and care for you will fade. Ultimately, your relationship will fail.
Helpful Tips When You Are Angry at Your Partner
Some people find it easy to be angry at their partner, even over small things. It looks like they forget the reasons they choose to have a relationship with each other. If you love your partner and don’t want them to get hurt, here are some helpful tips to manage your anger.
When you’re in a relationship, you need to learn how to compromise. It’s not all about you anymore. You need to learn how to work things together with your partner without resulting in arguments and fights. Compromising is not about surrendering your rights but respecting your partner. If your partner matters to you, compromising won’t be too hard.
When there are disagreements, talk them out with your partner calmly. Don’t lash out at your partner right away. Your goal as a couple is to have a beautiful and peaceful relationship, and you can never achieve this if you don’t know how to handle your problems right. Moreover, all forms of violence and maltreatment in relationships are a big no.
If you don’t agree, respond politely and respectfully. You don’t have to be rude or yell.
Take responsibility for your actions.
When you’re in a relationship, sometimes you do things your partner is not happy about. It can be a reason for your fight and argument. As much as possible, learn to lower your pride and own up to your mistakes. If you can’t do this, your relationship is bound to fail. When you’re angry, calm yourself down or walk away. It can also help you if you assess the situation first and reflect on what you did.
It’s okay to feel angry, but you don’t have to defend your wrong actions. Better yet, apologize. Assure them that it isn’t your intention to hurt them. But when your partner is wrong, then tell them. Be honest with them about feeling and thinking that way. When you both care for each other, it is easier for you to understand and forgive.
Always think good thoughts.
Thinking positive thoughts about your partner will quickly wean your anger at them. You will learn to be kinder and more thoughtful towards them. You fall in love with your partner for good reasons, and even if you have been together for years, always look for why you choose to be with them.
When you are upset at them, think of all the good things they have done for you. Make it a habit to notice even the smallest act of kindness they have shown you over the years. This way, you will always be grateful for them, and eventually, your anger will slowly subside.
Look past the issues.
There are specific topics that can trigger arguments and severe conflicts in relationships. Topics like politics, religion, money, and parenting can be overwhelming for both you and your partner, especially when you both have different opinions about the matter.
When this happens, respond maturely and kindly. Do not attack your partner personally. It is your immature reactions that can cause anger and conflict. Look past the issue and focus on your partner. You may have different thoughts on different issues, but always choose to be kind and respectful.
Never resort to violence.
Sometimes, when you are angry, you have the urge to hit something or, worse, hurt your partner. When this happens, it is best to collect yourself and count one to ten to give yourself a moment to think clearly. It is never acceptable to hit someone out of anger because you will certainly regret it.
No matter how angry you are, learn to control your actions. You need to love and respect each other, and your anger should never exacerbate into intentional harm.
If you find yourself angry all the time, it is best to consider seeking help from an anger therapist. One essential step is to admit that you need intervention with your anger. If you want professional help and support, you can visit Mindshift Psychological Services for an anger management program. Check out their website to learn more about the program, or contact them at (714) 584-9700 to schedule an appointment.