The Flaws of Being a Perfectionist
When the line “nobody’s perfect” is dropped, you know that someone is doing his/her best but failed to meet perfection. Even if everyone knows that the world can never achieve perfectionism, people still strive to live in an environment that depicts magnificence and excellence.
Perfectionism is often seen as a positive trait that could help create an organized and systematic flow of everything in society. It is equated to being well- disciplined, patient, smart and resourceful. However, it is not all rainbows and butterflies because there are downsides of being a perfectionist.
What is perfectionism?
In psychology, perfectionism is defined as the “tendency to demand of others or of oneself an extremely high or even flawless level of performance, in excess of what is required by the situation”. It is a broad personality behavior that is too obsessed with achieving unrealistic sets of expectations and standards.
Perfectionist people are always on edge when situations do not go their way. They are not only hard on themselves but they, too, are critical and judgmental when others commit mistakes. They are constantly living in fear, restlessness, worry and anxiety.
What are the signs of a perfectionist behavior?
It is not hard to detect people who strive for perfectionism. There are signs that you can actually cross-reference yourself or to the people around you for severe perfectionism.
1. Failure is never on the table.
You work harder than others because failing is never an option. You make sure that everything is done according to your standards and must be done efficiently and proficiently.
2. It is better to work alone than with others.
You just do not feel comfortable when other people are fine with doing mediocre tasks. You feel that they cannot live up to your standards. In order to avoid conflicts, you prefer working on your own.
3. Small and petty things bother you.
It annoys you when someone has misspelled a word. It gives you nightmares when a store did not give you the exact change or their soda cans are not arranged by height or color. These little things irritate you and question other people’s styles.
4. You are overly conscious about deadlines.
Deadlines are there to be followed and it seems that you are the only person who knows this. No matter how little time is left, you make sure that you submit your projects and tasks on time. It is not in you to ask for an extension.
5. It takes you long hours to complete a task.
You want everything you do or submit to be perfect. They should embody the word flawless and excellent. You know that perfection takes time to make so you do not rush it. It is normal for you to do things over and over again to achieve what you really want.
6. You are never satisfied.
This is the reason why you tend to repeat doing your tasks until you are fully satisfied. Even when you look at your previous works, they are still not good enough for you. You believe that there are always ways to make things better.
7. You are always early.
People applaud you for being punctual. You always arrive on time because you value your time. It drives you nuts when other people are not as time conscious as you are. You could have done other things than wasting time waiting for them.
8. You are competitive.
You overwork because you want your tasks and projects to be the best and better than others. Being a perfectionist takes you on a different level when it comes to competing with others. It hurts you when other people’s work is the crowd’s favorite.
9. You do not accept criticisms.
Criticisms are hard for you because for you the only person who can judge and criticize you is yourself. It angers and irritates you when other people, who are not as good as you, give harsh comments and negative feedback on your work.
10. You tend to be lazy and procrastinate.
Being a perfectionist does not automatically mean hard work. You also have days when you slack and take the time in the world to accomplish things. Maybe this is because you demand so much effort and time even on the easiest tasks.
When do you need to see therapy?
Being a perfectionist, you are always on the verge of feeling anxious and depressed. You are an easy target for mental health issues because you see every task as a challenge. Instead of just chilling and relaxing when your child’s friends come for a sleepover, you tend to exhaust yourself in making sure that everything is perfect – from healthy and yummy snacks to well-fluffed pillows.
1. You demand extremely high standards from yourself and others.
You easily get annoyed and angry when you cannot fulfil the expectations you set. You always feel pressured and stressed when you are assigned to do something.
2. You tend to procrastinate more and more.
You lost the excitement you always feel when you have a project to do. You put it off because you are starting to doubt your skills. Other times, you keep on doing one task over and over again.
3. It takes you longer hours in completing a task.
Whenever you need to do something, you become restless and anxious. You keep on changing your mind on how to go about it. It takes you days before finally coming up with a decision or completing the task.
4. Opinions of others matter more.
You work not to gratify yourself but to please other people. Their opinion rules your world and when one person says negative comments about your work, you become extremely sad and stressed.
5. You are afraid of making mistakes.
You now choose to always be on the safe side. You hesitate in taking risks in your work because you are afraid of failing. You do not enjoy the tasks anymore and you ultimately become a slave to it and pour hours and hours of hard work.
Being a perfectionist seems harmless and ordinary but there is always a chance that it will lead to obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD). There are some that become depressed and anxious whenever they cannot attain their desired results.
Mindshift Psychological Services understands that there are people who are struggling with their extreme personality traits such as perfectionism. They provide therapy near me and counselling sessions that will make your traits more tolerable and acceptable.
Some of their renowned services that will surely create a calm and relaxing ambience for your mind include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Depression therapy near me and Psychotherapy for Individuals. You can check their website for more information or directly call them at (714) 584-9700.
